According to Wikipedia a “father (or dad) is defined as a male parent or individual progenitor of human offspring…[t]he verb "to father" means to procreate or to sire a child from which also derives the gerund "fathering".” Is providing DNA truly what makes one a father…a “dad”? Or is fathering more about nurturing a child, providing for them, encouraging and guiding them?
On Father’s Day every year, I think about this relationship. For me, a “dad” is not the progenitor of human offspring; he is the person who loves and cares for a child. This stems, of course, from my personal experience; from my relationship with the man I called dad and the relationship my daughter has with my husband, whom she calls dad.
Most people who know me understand that when I talk about my dad, I’m referring to my step-father, Bill Paden; the man who loved me as his own, took me with him on gigs, helped me get my first job, taught me to drive, and walked me down the aisle.
He had a ready smile, a love of music, and a great sense of humor. I remember many a night accompanying my mother when he played the piano and saxophone with, first, Joe Penny and the Penny Pinchers at the Elks Club or local watering hole—somehow I always managed to be admitted—and later, with the Wind Jammers. He would get lost in the music, pounding on the keys with abandon, eyes closed, foot taping, head swaying to the time of the music; always with a huge grin on his face…always. People loved him; he was gregarious, outgoing, and friendly—he never met a stranger. He also had a joke for every occasion and loved a good practical joke.
He was not my father, but he was my dad. I miss him.
Posted by
